Front Porch Gossip – 1/26/2012
Heyz to all my friends out there off my front porch! Sumone sez, “Ima, why ain’t u writin’ stuff in that-their paper!” I sez back, “I ain’t hearin’ much cuz u ain’t sittin on ur porch no more since it got winter out!” If they think I’m gonna freeze off my lil – well, okay, it ain’t so lil any more – but it still gits cold on the front porch!
My nephew came home the other day. He into all that school sports an stuff! He sez they gonna do away with the two high school teams and put ‘em into one next year. He sez Ford City will be the Junior High school and Kittanning will be the Senior High.
Well I got pretty upset! I ask him how I wuz gonna be able to go to the big Kittanning-Ford City football game an scream out for my team (they ‘spect me do that every year) when next year they all be playin’ on the same team! He sez, “Auntee Ima (that wat he calls me), there ain’t gonna be no Kittanning-Ford City game next year. They all gonna be one team!”
So I ask him wat they gonna do if they take them kids from the Kittanning Junior High and ship ‘em to Ford City. He sez he don’t know but they probably gonna shut down the Kittanning building. So since he think he so smart, I sez, “Then why don’t they just take all them kids and put ‘em in the Kittanning Senior High. I mean, if there is enuf room up there to move all those senior high kids from Ford City up here, then why they be keeping that Kittanning Junior High open anyway?” He sez he don’t know. For a teacher he don’t cipher much!
Then I ask him wat they gonna do wit that new coach fella they hired that wuz in the Kittanning Paper on Wednesday? He sez he don’t know. Now he a really nice boy, but sometimes I think he got his smarts from cousin Mildred! She would read a recipe and when it call for water, she couldn’t finish makin’ the meal cuz she couldn’t decide if it wanted tap water or bottled water. I tell her, “Mildred, you don’t make sense! Everybody know it bottled water!”
Well sumbody let me know wat those sports teams are gonna do! I won’t know whether to wear my purple paint or red paint to next year’s game! My guess is that school board is just as confused as my nephew.
Now just so you know, I don’t gossip! Everythin’ I sez is TRUE! So if u gonna post some lame comment below, it better be true!
Front Porch Gossip | admin January 26, 2012
By notsoshy, January 26, 2012 @ 8:04 AM
Really? And people wonder why the youth of America can not spell correctly.? Whoever wrote this should be ashamed of themselves. It is a disgraceful piece of material that makes us sound like the hillbillies that we are definately not. I think it is very judgemental for you to be making comments about Frank Fabian already also being that I can almost guarantee you have never met the man. Enough with the one sided crap about consolidation. Trust me people in Ford City don’t want it yo happen either, but guess what..it’s coming. So in closing tell your nephew to suck it up,put on his big girl panties and pay attention in school so he can at least spell better than you do. Oh does this mean that you went to Kittanning and thats why you spell so poorly? Oh wait I’m thinking of Elderton.
By Kittanning Lady, January 26, 2012 @ 10:36 AM
@ Ima, I love your article !! GOD BLESS and keep writing .
By bweitzel, January 26, 2012 @ 11:13 AM
This is so stupid, it doesn’t even deserve a comment!
By kwiss4, January 26, 2012 @ 11:57 AM
What would the P.I.A.A have to say?
notsoshy, what a rude comment.
By The Phantom, January 26, 2012 @ 12:08 PM
from notshoshy:”Trust me people in Ford City don’t want it yo happen either”
I believe Ima’s spelling errors were done tongue in cheek. You know, like a “Character”. Was your spelling error of the simple 2 letter word (to)?
By Jan, January 26, 2012 @ 1:04 PM
Lighten up everyone- we all need a good laugh once in awhile.
By Lisa, January 26, 2012 @ 1:37 PM
I wasn’t even going to post to the above article but WOW notsoshy that was REALLY uncalled for. People like you are why each attendance feel the way they do about the other. GROW UP!!!!
By Toni, January 26, 2012 @ 1:51 PM
Please do not insult our intelligence with this type of ridiculous article. Stick to the news, not this stupidity.
By Kittanning Lady, January 26, 2012 @ 2:06 PM
This is priceless!!Everyone please pay attention to the people’s comments who oppose this persons comments in this article.You then will see who and why our county is so disheveled.Connect the dots as someone once said. Can’t wait to see who else bloggs negative comments,I have one crossed off my list already.
By futureconcened, January 26, 2012 @ 2:06 PM
It’s a literary form called “satire”. I’m sure this amusing article took the author an enormous amount of time to perfect. It gave me a great chuckle and brightened this dreary day.
By billybob65, January 26, 2012 @ 3:10 PM
@notsoshy The Elderton comment was uncalled for. I agree with those that say this was satire. Your holier than thou attitude toward both the writer and your obvious stereotyping of someone not living in your area shows you’re nothing more than a snob.
By jester, January 26, 2012 @ 5:56 PM
Like Quinn says on his radio show” the liberals have no sense of humor” this points it out right here with the negative comments and taking this article literally…..
By jerry6, January 26, 2012 @ 6:51 PM
Come on people. Do we always have to be so serious. This is just satire. People need to lighten up. I have no idea who wrote this but this board needs a little fun and not always complaining. We get mad that things are like they are and then when people try to change things, people get upset. Which way do you want it.
By jerry6, January 26, 2012 @ 9:18 PM
Jester: I am a liberal and I have a sense of humor so that blows your thought to pieces.
By worthingtonman, January 26, 2012 @ 9:53 PM
I think the person this satire is poking fun at doesn’t even realize it is poking fun at them. the fact is this board has become a sounding board for gossip. Most of which I am sure is just to stir the pot. I personally don’t put much stock in some of the ridiculous rumors that get floated on here. I would like to-think that the combining of the two of the districts three football teams would be something handled by the board and not leaked out as gossip.
By JornJensen, January 26, 2012 @ 10:34 PM
Agree with jerry6 – have some fun with the satire or skip it. Texting has done way more damage to the English language than this satire ever will.
By Bison4ever, January 27, 2012 @ 12:31 AM
Agreed Worthingtonman…it flew right over her head.
By youdonthaveaclue, January 27, 2012 @ 1:20 AM
Come on people this was something that was all in fun I am sure. Chill out and take it for what it’s worth. It was most definately just a joke and a way to add a little humor to the crap that is going on in this county and school district and for that matter this country.
By JornJensen, January 27, 2012 @ 8:01 AM
worthingtonman and Bison4ever – I read that into it also, but chose not to comment. I doubt the KP would ‘pick on’ any one poster, or promote attacks/slams, but rather try to direct posters to ‘stick to the issues’ and present information of value to others. Lots of good debates from posters in the KP – some good solutions to our local problems could come right out of these ‘discussions’.
By fromthemiddlestall, January 27, 2012 @ 9:12 AM
Once again, Kittanning Lady, the word is blog, and leaving a comment on here is not blogging.
You are commenting, not blogging.
It may seem like a meaningless difference to you, but to bloggers, it is a big difference.
By samkirk, January 27, 2012 @ 10:24 AM
Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!
This rumor was started by Jack Bennet on last week’s morning radio. That was a good laugh too.
What should the new school colors be? Combine red, white, gold, and yellow and just make them all brown! Can’t wait to see those wildsabercats play!
By samkirk, January 27, 2012 @ 10:25 AM
For those nitpickers. I goofed. My bad. I meant purple instead of yellow.
By Amandacrksd, February 3, 2012 @ 4:42 PM
I really think fromthemiddlestall should look up the definition of blog and blogging!!!
By dragonfly, February 5, 2012 @ 3:23 PM
I’m having a hard time deciding if this article is making fun of learning disabilities or being just plain racist. I work with a lot of inner city kids (some uneducated and some with learning disabilities) who think this is really how you spell…and then to put it in a newspaper for the rest of us to laugh at!?!?! Way to go KP! It’s poor taste.
By JohnK, February 6, 2012 @ 7:07 AM
Dragonfly, don’t throw out the race card. That’s as pathetic as it gets. It is a weak attempt at humor, that’s all..People who go around looking for reasons to cry racism. I’m sure you do many things yourself the rest of us would consider “in poor taste.”
By dragonfly, February 7, 2012 @ 12:37 AM
To JohnK: It wasn’t an attempt at humor. I’m an RN working with teenagers and young adults who sees people with this level of functioning on an all to regular basis. I found it offensive. It makes fun of how some people really talk and spell. Cheap laughs at the expense of others. In schools we call it ‘bullying’. I was disappointed to see it in my hometown paper, thats all. It was only an opinion of an article in a professional publication, one that is put out for all the members of my community (including my own children) to read. I’m not even sure how you got any amount of humor from my original post or how you can assume that I would be distasteful, but then again I don’t know you so I really can’t comment on you as a person, just the newspaper that chose to put the article out there in the first place.
By JohnK, February 7, 2012 @ 7:10 AM
That was worded poorly. I was in a rush..The writer’s column was a poor attempt at humor.
I didn’t get any humor out of it, because I think it was poorly written and very cheesy, however I do get angry when people throw out the race card, especially when there isn’t anything to it.
That isn’t bullying. Again, a poor attempt at humor by the writer..