Front Porch Gossip – 1/26/2012

Heyz to all my friends out there off my front porch! Sumone sez, “Ima, why ain’t u writin’ stuff in that-their paper!” I sez back, “I ain’t hearin’ much cuz u ain’t sittin on ur porch no more since it got winter out!” If they think I’m gonna freeze off my lil – well, okay, it ain’t so lil any more – but it still gits cold on the front porch!

My nephew came home the other day. He into all that school sports an stuff! He sez they gonna do away with the two high school teams and put ‘em into one next year. He sez Ford City will be the Junior High school and Kittanning will be the Senior High.

Well I got pretty upset! I ask him how I wuz gonna be able to go to the big Kittanning-Ford City football game an scream out for my team (they ‘spect me do that every year) when next year they all be playin’ on the same team! He sez, “Auntee Ima (that wat he calls me), there ain’t gonna be no Kittanning-Ford City game next year. They all gonna be one team!”

So I ask him wat they gonna do if they take them kids from the Kittanning Junior High and ship ‘em to Ford City. He sez he don’t know but they probably gonna shut down the Kittanning building. So since he think he so smart, I sez, “Then why don’t they just take all them kids and put ‘em in the Kittanning Senior High. I mean, if there is enuf room up there to move all those senior high kids from Ford City up here, then why they be keeping that Kittanning Junior High open anyway?” He sez he don’t know. For a teacher he don’t cipher much!

Then I ask him wat they gonna do wit that new coach fella they hired that wuz in the Kittanning Paper on Wednesday? He sez he don’t know. Now he a really nice boy, but sometimes I think he got his smarts from cousin Mildred! She would read a recipe and when it call for water, she couldn’t finish makin’ the meal cuz she couldn’t decide if it wanted tap water or bottled water. I tell her, “Mildred, you don’t make sense! Everybody know it bottled water!”

Well sumbody let me know wat those sports teams are gonna do! I won’t know whether to wear my purple paint or red paint to next year’s game! My guess is that school board is just as confused as my nephew.  

Now just so you know, I don’t gossip! Everythin’ I sez is TRUE! So if u gonna post some lame comment below, it better be true!